Words of the lord ...

I came down just for you.

I’m on your guard through & through.

You cry at the agony of being born.

Seeing ur anguish my heart is torn.

I rush to you to caress you.

At once you smile , a smile so true

Each time your gaze falls on me

You seem to be in blissful glee

Your first word uttered with love, ‘ MOTHER !’

Makes me feel you love me alone ,none other…

But alas child! You seem to change,

Your  mind and your tastes become strange

As you grow , the world is what you fancy

But what caused the world ? you blindly don’t see.

As your father I come in disguise,

But you find none other than yourself wise.

Your mind  travels far  and wide,

And  everytime away from me you hide.

The hands in the clock keep turning

The fire in you keeps burning

You find happiness in hanging around with your age

I   immediately respond &  come down to your stage

‘Dear Friend !’ You call me & with me you stay

The moment I show you the right path, you simply walk away.

As the tricky time flows by,

Your mind seems to fly high.

The moment I know what u seek for

I come to you at your door

Many a times I try approaching you

Everytime you’re obsessed with something new.

Your calculations never seem to go wrong.

You turn your head away from me all along.

The oil in the lamp within you,

Begins to reduce through & through.

And that’s when child you panic here

You realize that you have reached nowhere

You understand that you’ve missed something

along the tracks…

And that’s when you take a look back.

You recall your very first days

And see your mother’s charming ways.

You find your father’s protective hands

And your friend’s reassuring glance

And then child you look at me

My same glow in them you see

Regretful tears fill your eyes

My love is what you didn’t realize

My legs are numb… my hands ache…

My love keeps flowing & my heart breaks…

Waiting for you here I stand

unnoticed, for you to hold my outstretched hand.

Waiting for you to realize the ceaseless flow

Of boundless love that on you I bestow.

The Host - A must read!

I could feel how intensely aware she was of the hand in mine. There was an emotion slowly building in her that I didn't recognize. something on the edge of anger, with a hint of desire and a portion of despair.

'Jealousy' she enlightened me.
After long, really really long, I read. No! I drank with my heart and soul. Dived into the depths of a book so beautiful, meaningful, so true and touching. Every emotion carved into words so aptly that one may think the emotions were born after she wrote the words. If you get what I mean. You know! I'm no Stephenie Meyer! ;)
I'm a person who always adored everything unreal. Fictions were always my Favorite - Magic, witches & wizards, Vampires and now aliens! The Host is no exception. But what caught my attention is the reality that has been depicted in it.
Melanie - in whose body the alien dwells - doesn't give up. She fights! For her little brother, Jamie and her love , Jared. She survives out of the power of her love and though she hates the soul that has conquered her, ultimately, they turn out to like each other. The occasional glimpse of her memories and dreams gets the alien falling in love with Melanie's loved ones and together they set out in search of Jared and Jamie.
The alien falls in love with not just Jared and Jamie but with the humanity as a whole. It adores the Homo sapiens more than any other alien bodies it has conquered so far. It gets baffled by the varied human emotions, instincts, expressions, dilemma etc that it has never witnessed elsewhere.
Though their search yields fruit, they face many life threatening situations and as days pass by, the alien soul gets an admirer for herself - Ian. The boundless love between the human and the alien simply proves that love has  no boundaries.It realizes that it has to sacrifice it's life for all the loved ones in this beautiful place called earth. For all the new friends made, for the new love found, for everything it never had till now, the price to be paid was self sacrifice.
I had lived in so many bodies, but never one I loved like this. Never one that I craved in this way. Of course, this would be the one I'd have to give up.
I have seen many paintings, read a few books and watched a number of movies. But came across nothing as real as this. I am a person who believes that no feelings can ever be put to words. Words may help you say what you feel. But never helps you say how much you feel. The intensity remains in your heart. Now, I must say that Stephenie Meyer has magic in her words. Though I still stick to my belief, I'm truly awed by the way she has expressed so many unspeakable feelings.
Later... Happy and sad, elated and miserable, secured and afraid, loved and  denied, patient and angry, peaceful and wild, complete and empty... all of it. I would feel everything.
Though the book is all about Melanie and the soul, I fell in love with Ian - the best guy ever!
The Host - The best book I ever read. Thanks to Stephenie Meyer.

When Innocence and Ambitions Marry...

A rolled up paper , a long towel or a chunni [Preferably black] and a four-legged teapoy (a four-legged stool) placed upside down. These  were the 'ingredients' used by my granny so that I'd stop running about and as a kid. :D  Wondering why?   It was a new remedy discovered by her for my incurable and unbearable mischiefs. Let me explain:

After a long episode of running behind me and calling out for me, my granny gives me the above mentioned magical stuff. I tie the towel around my neck (You guessed it right! Superman has got one like mine),  roll up the paper in my hand and climb into the upside-down teapoy.

Lo and behold! I get transformed into my own role model -A lawyer![Please don't ask me where I got these ideas from. I was an innocent little kid then. C'mon!] ;) Doing my favorite job - Non stop talking!!!

Er.. eh... I know... That is of course the funny part. An advocate does his talking outside the 'teapoy' and the defendant or the plaintiff or the witnesses 'get to' <yes! It was a privilege>  stand inside the 'teapoy'. Standing inside the teapoy, the long black gown and the right to talk as much as I wanted were the three things that tempted me equally for which, I didn't mind breaking a few rules in the game. I'd wear the gown, I'd do the talking and I'll stand inside the teapoy!! :P

As years passed by, the stool had become too small for me. Tying chunni around the neck was too childish and there were many 'cool' things to do besides imitating a lawyer. I liked kids! I would become a kindergarten teacher. All kids flocking around me, showing me all their drawings, telling me about what happened yesterday and looking at me with as though I was their angel. I'd be a star for the kids! Those were the privileges given to the KG teacher. This was followed by,

Math is a subject I like. I wouldn't mind teaching Math in high school. Not a bad idea at all.

But I like music too! How about giving music lessons as a side job? Hang on! *gets dreamy... sees stars* Playback singer sounds cool !!! And then I come back from my reverie <That was too much>

Further in High School when I began scoring good marks consistently in one subject, I decided I would become 'that' lecturer. That is how Sanskrit came into my ambitions list. I adored my Sanskrit teacher and still am a fan of hers. I even discussed with my parents regarding taking up teaching Sanskrit as a profession!

<Oh My! I did really discuss that!?>

And my parents answered all my queries. They knew me too well I guess. They knew this too was one of my passing fantasies.

Things never ended with this. There were many more - Artist, Fashion designer, Painter, Dancer, Writer, Journalist...

<What was I thinking about myself?>  :D

I even imagined that I was a heroine in a movie, that someone was shooting the movie from various angles and I was the center of attraction -You know! The dreamy heroine types! Ha ha!

I wouldn't blame anyone if -after reading this - they laugh their heads off because I myself can't control my laughter. But I swear I'm neither making all this up, nor would I say that I am good at all this. But they were 'The ambitions' and when I talked about them, listeners had to take them seriously! lol!.

You wouldn't be surprised if I say that today I am not aiming to become any of the above said persons because life doesn't always give you what you just dream for. It gives you what you dream and work for. I am working for something entirely different. I can neither wear a black gown, nor will kids flock around me admiring me. In this profession, people wouldn't applaud for me the way they used to applaud when I used to sing.

Being a student of Chartered Accountancy, I myself am bewildered when I notice how the nature of my ambitions were entirely different from what I have chosen now. How circumstances have changed, how I have changed and how my views have changed.

Today, as I move towards my goal I wish I could once again become the innocent four-year-old climbing into the stool with a roll of paper and a towel. Within seconds I used to own the world! I used to be the happiest kid (Happiest lawyer ;)) once I got into the stool. My desires were ordinary and easily achievable and my happiness on achieving them were extraordinary.